Top 10 dumb things overheard in the bourbon world.

1)  Keep hunting ya’ll, it’s still out there [posts picture of some nice score at a store].  No it isn’t.  You got lucky as hell and just need proper wording to show off your scores.  Just say “check out what I found today!”.  Everyone gets lucky at some point.  People who win the lottery don’t say, “I just won the lottery, go buy tickets and you will too!”  Just stop.

2)  I just bought this bottle at the store, anyone know anything about it?  Then why the hell did you buy the bottle if you knew nothing about it?  Did the fancy label get you?  Did the store owner tell you just how few bottles the entire state is getting?  Did you think you had just found a one of a kind bottle?  Come on, do your own damn research ahead of time.

3)  For trade: Elmer T. Lee, Old Weller Antique 107, and EH Taylor Single Barrel.  ISO: BTAC and Pappy.  Yay, you found your first set of allocated bottles.   Surely someone holding a Saz 18 or a Pappy 15 can’t find them either and is desperately seeking low end to middle tier allocated bottles that will always be produced.  Maybe you could throw in a Blood Oath for a Pappy 20 or something.  Bump this a few times, it should definitely happen.

4)  I drink everything I get [said to store owner].  Yes everyone goes through the phase in bourbon collecting where they do pretty much open everything they get.  That is until the store owner finally sells them a Pappy 20 or 23.  Then you realize how many bottles you can get for that 1 bottle, and you don’t open it.

5)  Looking for a nice bottle to buy for my [some family member]’s upcoming [even number] birthday, anyone help me out?  It’s one thing to find a nice birth year bottle on the secondary market for you or a loved one, it’s another to say this to every store in your city trying to get a current rare bottle.

6)  Can anyone tell me the stores around here that sell really allocated and hard to find bottles?  This one is the worst.  Yes, let me tell you where I have built up a relationship with years of purchasing so that you can walk in and smooth talk your way into a bottle that I wanted.  Find your own damn store.

7)  I heard from a guy that there are only 7 bottles of [some 6k+ release of a bourbon or rye] into this state.  You heard wrong.  Don’t believe anything a store owner tells you.  Unless you work for the distributor that can see exactly how many bottles arrived at the warehouse, then you are passing along BS info.

8)  Tater – At some point in time, a potato was used as a reference for people who buy bourbon or rye solely based on hype or marketing.  It later became ‘tater’.  Regardless of how it came to be, it’s overused and out of date.

9)  People are paying [secondary price] online for this bottle, so that’s why I have marked it up (says Store Owner).  Store owners aren’t immune here either, they also say stupid shit.  Stop justifying your retail price gouging.  People in Venezuela are paying insane prices for food, are grocery store owners marking up their prices here too?  No, and don’t think we aren’t calling out your shitty prices in a big group on Facebook.

10)  I only got 1 bottle (says Store Owner).  He got 3 bottles.  He kept 1, and he sold the other 2 to his buddies Jack and Diane.  Sorry you missed out, you probably will next time too.  There is always Blood Oath though!